Overwhelming Joy.

After a day of clouds that became full blown rain in the mid-afternoon, the sky turned blue and the sun became visible in time to begin it's downward descent toward evening and eventual night. I was standing in the kitchen, listening to Katie Melua, when the sun broke through the clouds and the way it touched the trees, at just the right angle filled me with such incredible happiness, it was almost unbearable.

Like all humans and probably other mammals as well, I have had a lifetime of searching for happiness. When I first moved into this house, I had a vision of myself as an old man, smoking a pipe, retired from my career as a musician, my life's struggles behind me. As the following twenty plus years unfolded, the struggles became harder, the pursuit of happiness was subdued by the pursuit of employment, conditions under which happiness is most often unattainable and largely impossible. The result was hostility, depression and eventual alienation. I eventually had an experience that caused me to re-evaluate what is important and meaningful in my life and I have come to realize that what I have been told for decades is really true. The most meaningful parts of one's life are not the houses and cars nor the bank account, but the people you can count on in times of need and those with whom you can share meaningful experiences.

While I am not officially retired in terms of old-age pensions or government statistics and I don't smoke a pipe, I have become more comfortable with working less and enjoying myself more. I have traded my drumset for a sketch pad and my sticks for pencils. There is no need to do one final tour for posterity; if I were to tour now, it would be to see my friends who no longer live in this area, and to enjoy the vast wonderfulness of this great land; Canada.

So the sun can set contentedly this evening, knowing he shone some wisdom on an old fool today and taught me what the great Sages and Wise Teachers have been saying since the beginning of time and which I have been too blinded by my rage to see... Our happiness lies within us; it is not an entity that is outside us or to be provided by someone else. We create it with our perceptions and desire to have it.

~Still Wandering....

Introduction to Road Cycling.

Bye, bye Facebook.

Follow-Up.

Wandering into the technological age...

Well of course, the technological age has been upon us for around sixty five years, ever since the end of world war two, perhaps a bit longer.

But this technology that I am using today is somewhat new to me... Yes, I've used video cameras since the days of silent eight millimeter home movies, and I've been using a computer for quite some time now, but to shoot digital video, upload it to my computer and then broadcast it to the world (at least those parts of the world that are interested/watching) is new to me.

However, that being said, here is my first attempt at "vlogging." I'll use this vlog to keep people (mostly friends and family I would guess) up-to-date with my activities. I intend to submit some material from a bicycle mounted attachment that will allow me to shoot as I ride. Probably that will take the theme "As scene from a bicycle seat." Since I have time lapse capabilities, this should make bike rides fun, and time lapse sunsets over the ocean will be spectacular.

So without further ado, please sit back, munch some popcorn, and enjoy!

Let me know what you think.

Renewed friendships and new Acquaintances

I have a friend in Japan who has resolved to vlog every single day in May. This might become something he enjoys so much he’ll continue it indefinitely. I admire his ambition, because for me, it’s difficult to blog once a week.

That said, here is my most recent entry to my blog in which I actually mention some of my followers to some extent.

In my last blog entry, I mentioned the cycling club I belong to and sometimes ride with. A member who recently passed away was fond of mounting his camcorder to his bike and uploading the results to You Tube. I am in no way trying to take his place, but rather make my own contributions and in so doing be able to keep friends and family up to date on the places I ride and the sights I see. However, the technology, however sophisticated, can sometimes be unreliable and as luck would have it, the camcorder I have is just odd enough that it requires a specialized method to upload to my computer. In fact, I have to upload to my old desktop if I can even do it that way and I’m waiting for a friend to come by to help me find out. There is an outside possibility I might need to buy a new camera to help me accomplish my goals.

What’s most interesting about my video documentation though is the method I’ve chosen to mount my camcorder. Five of my seven followers have worked with me in some capacity as I’ve plied my trade as a drummer, so it will come as no surprise that I’ve made a camera mount from old drum parts. Using a multi-clamp designed to attach an additional part to a stand, I was able to attach a shortened boom arm to the bike and screw the camcorder right to that. The thread pattern matches up perfectly, and the rides I’ve taken have proven that the camera is stable and the footage is steady enough that the viewer doesn’t get sea sick! I apologize for not having images to show the details, but I promise to add them soon.

Sometimes people have to move on to find gainful employment and this is true of most of my friends, let alone those who follow my blogs. My friend in Japan, our mutual friends from the University days, and many others are all living at a distance now. One however has returned to this area for a brief visit, and I was fortunate enough to meet her for coffee today and have a conversation that covered just about everything from the behavioural habits of dogs to politics. ... Come to think of it, that’s probably not such a gap after all. While we haven’t seen each other in years, we fell into the customary ease of conversing and joking as if we met daily.

Finally, I have noticed the addition of a new follower, someone whom I have never met. I know such things happen, someone stumbles upon a blog that they find interesting or touches on topics in which they are interested, but I’ve never experienced it until last week. I have no idea how this person found me or what prompted her to choose to follow me, but please say hello to Bee! Welcome to my circle of fun Bee! I hope you enjoy the random ramblings I post here.

~Still Wandering

Spring Renewal...

In the months since my last entry, I have been searching... That is in this case a multi-faceted word that is also a gross understatement of my emotions and activities.

Obviously, I have been searching for employment, but not as tenaciously as in the past. Having a job and income have become less important than before. Firstly, there is very little work in this part of Canada for skilled workers let alone someone like myself; which is not to say that I have no skills, but rather that I have no certificates to verify my skills and certificates are very important as we all know. Secondly, jobs are often acquired through political patronage, nepotism, or familial relations. Being from another province, I have few connections here beyond some friends and acquaintances in the political arena, and I’ve come to understand that such jobs often carry a requirement to abandon one’s conscience. Finally, I am at an age now where many employers will overlook me in favour of a younger, more educated person.

Also, I have been searching for direction. For most of my life I have been totally and completely focused upon (some would say consumed by) my desire to be a professional drummer. While this has been accomplished to some degree, the struggle to become successful in the music business is minimal in comparison to the struggle to remain successful. After forty years of struggling in all ways possible, I have decided to re-focus and seek a profession that has greater meaning and less noise pollution. To this end, I am looking to sell my drums and trying my hand at writing. Another area of interest is an online craft store. I’ve had experience in selling hand made goods at craft fairs in the past, but an online store offers a larger market and a clientele who are more interested in my products. My strongest focus however, will be on my Reiki practice, energy Healing and helping others achieve their highest Self. This seems very esoteric and many would believe impossible and/or unrealistic, but I believe it is necessary since people are becoming more and more disconnected from their spiritual selves, and there is a shift in consciousness developing on our planet that will lead to people seeking out those with the skills I now possess.

As many of you already know, I’m still an avid cyclist. A couple of years ago, I bought a Norco Mountaineer, a durable but heavy bike designed for off-road activities. I knew at the time it was not really what I was looking for, but it was the one that best fit my budget. I got a good season and a half out of it and this spring, I bought the road bike I should have had all along. It’s a Devinci Silverstone S1, the top of the line aluminium frame road/racing bike made by Devinci. I’ve only had the chance to get out about 4 times so far this year, but I can already tell that I’m going to love this bike. I've renewed my membership to Velo Cape Breton, and have signed up for an upcoming Can Bike II course to improve my skills even further. This looks to be a great summer of riding!

In the time since I returned to Cape Breton from Fredericton, I have had to face one other fact: I have been broken by all that’s happened since last May. The turmoil and upheaval of leaving Cape Breton and returning to Fredericton where I was born was exciting, but the reality of it was that the job I was going to was not ideal. In my haste to be back with my family, I accepted employment that was really not suitable, and several factors led me to decide in early January to return to Cape Breton, despite what I would be leaving in Fredericton. Once I got here, I avoided facing reality for quite some time. Jack Kornfield refers to this as “our brokenness...” And I realize I have become broken. At one point a few weeks ago, I began to become conscious of this fact, and made a decision to allow myself to be broken until roughly the middle of May when the land around me begins to show new life for the upcoming summer. I determined that if I allow myself to be broken, to not fight it, I would heal better and faster once I began the process. It seems that I’m beginning about three weeks ahead of schedule, but that too is alright.

As I witness the grass growing greener each day, and feel the sun warming our planet, I feel stronger, healthier, and more assured that no matter what “stuff” I encounter, I will always endure. My will to live and persevere is stronger than my despair.

~Still Wandering…